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December 10, 2011

Where is Dennis Onsarigo and Ali Mohamed?


I am one of the many Kenyans who watched and loved the investigative series on the six-billion- shilling cocaine haul that was caught in Kenya about seven years ago and the succeeding suspected killing of police officers who were involved in the probe.

A story which I must agree was well researched, developed and documented in bounds and leaps.

After several days of screening of the series on KTN, the police came out with guns blazing, threatening of suing the Standard Group- the parent company of KTN.

And it was not just the Standard Group that was under siege, the two brave investigative reporters’ lives were too.
The two reporters' lives took a whole new turn. Not for the better but for the worse.

For the next days, Ali Mohamed and his colleague Denis Onsarigo could not walk, talk, move, eat or do anything like any ordinary people. Their lives had changed. Literally.

The two became ‘Most Wanted’ in Nairobi. Ali realised that he was being followed while he attended class in the Nairobi Campus of Moi University.

The pair is said to have been trailed by unknown people, strange men, an unidentified men, killers on the loose maybe, assassins we don’t know, but certainly they were not the pairs’ friends.

As we speak, the two journalists from Kenya Television Network, is said to have left the country and most predictably hiding in Europe in fear of their security or life or both.

Sources claim that Ali was either headed to a European nation- Norway or the United States.

And when we thought this was all over, there were claims that an editor with Jackal; news blog who broke this story and has been running subsequent stories on the cocaine haul was attacked by dogs in South B- Nairobi.
The men assaulted the editor and threatened to deport him out of Nairobi, a warning implying to kill him if the website continued publishing reports touching on drugs.

I don’t know what you think but it seems that some people are indeed ‘Untouchables’. And it's not just Ali and Onsarigo but anyone who dares to mention cocaine- either in consciously or subconsciously!

November 28, 2011

Janet Mbugua joins Citizen TV



Finally after months of speculation, it is finally confirmed- Janet Mbugua is joining Citizen TV.

Word has been ubiquitous that the beautiful former news anchor of KTN who was ‘poached’ by ETV (a South African based TV station) would be joining the Citizen TV.

Janet’s joining the station made news not because of her news reading skills- actually; there is nothing so special about Janet- the only thing that caught people’s attention and made her make entertainment headlines is because of her payslip.

It is said that her pay slip will be reading 803,000 shillings a month. An amount that has got many people’s tongues wagging.

I don’t know if you know anyone in the media circles that earn this much. I don’t myself. Okay, I know one, our own queen of radio, Caroline Mutoko. But Caroline’s salary only matches this if it’s inclusive of the too much work at Radio Africa Ltd as a marketing manager.

In some quarters, this is not so much money. In media, it is. Especially, if the camera men/women and dressers get an average of 50,000 or less.

It’s even worse in some stations that pay 15,000 a month while others don’t pay their staff for three months.

And it’s not just the 0.8 million that caught our attention, something else did. The in -excess of 4.5 million shillings paid to ETV to free Mbugua from her contract in South Africa.

You could be wondering who is Janet Mbugua? Well, Mbugua is 27-year-old Kenyan. She started off on radio as a mid-morning show host in 2003.

In 2005 she took a break from radio and pursued studies in Malaysia. In 2007, she came back to Kenya and worked in television as a travel show host promoting Kenya’s hidden resources.

In the same year, the gorgeous journalist’s talents were noticed and she moved from being the travel show host to reading the news in Nairobi for the Kenya Television Network (KTN), before leaving for South Africa in mid 2009 to join ETV. Today, well, you know that already. KTN? NTV? ETV? No, Citizen TV it is.

Back in 2008/09, KTN was the TV to watch. It was just not easy not to. What of Janet Mbugua, Lillian Muli (Citizen TV) and Esther Arunga in your living room every day? It was a world of bevy beauties.

All said and (un)done, the question is? Is it cheaper recruiting and developing talent or its easy just acquiring the already developed talent and paying more? Well, that is a question that can be well answered by S. K. Macharia.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Mbugua's salary, in actually sense, I am so happy for her. But if I didn't write this, how else would you have known?

October 05, 2011

Mr Flava coming to Kenya and the translation of his lewd Nwa Baby Song

Mr Flava whose song Nwa Baby has been getting huge airplay inspite of its lewd vernacular lyrics will be in Kenya on October 15 for Naija Night at the Carnivore.

However, before you plan to attend this event, you may want to know the meaning of some of the words you will be asked by the artiste while performing. So before you reply to 'someone say ashawo'... you may need to check the meaning of the word.

Because I am concerned of what someone might think about you especially our Naija brodas and sisters, I have taken the huge risk of posting a translation of the song in this blog.

Be warned therefore next time you hear the song and start humming or mimicking the words-especially in the presence of a Nigerian- most so if you are a woman.

The song is literally porn in content.

Nwa baby, nye me fege (7x) – Baby Girl give me your vagina
Nwa baby, o kwa Nabania - baby Girl, is this night u will give me
I don hammer no be small, now it's
time to chop money
Somebody say Nabania – someone say it will happen this night
Na takwa ne fe omo wania – please lest chop money and enjoy
See the girls them plenty
Waka waka baby (oh yeah), wuru – walk about baby
wuru baby (oh yeah) -
I go tell my mama, (oh yeah) I go – l will tell my mama
tell my papa (oh yeah) - l will tell my Papa
And I go tell am say (oh yeah) - and l will tell them say
You be waka waka baby (oh yeah) – you are walk about Girl
You be wuru wuru baby (oh yeah) – you are cheating me Girl
Corner corner baby (oh yeah)
Sango sango baby (oh yeah) – you are not straight forward girl
Para rara baby (oh yeah) – l don’t really trust you baby
Oh baby sawaley - Baby open the vagina for me to enter
Sawa sawa sawaley (2x) Open, Open, Open,
Ashawo - Harlot

Kpokpotom kpomkpom, kporokotom - it means nothing but just sound
kpomkpom (2x) - Sound
Kpakolo kpa (3x), kpomkpom - Sound
Ojari kpokpo, ukwu nwa baby – Woman Vagina, Woman waist
Achukwu rege, kpom kpom – Shake ur waist, shake it well
Ashawo, awusha – Prostitute - Harlot
Awusha, ashawo – Prostitute - Harlot
Ashawo, awusha, kpom kpom
Eh eh eh eh eh eh, kpom kpom
Oh baby Sawaley
Sawa Sawa Sawaley (2x)
Ashawo

Nwa baby, nye me fege (7x) – Baby Girl give me your Vagina (7X)
Nwa baby, wa Nabania – Baby girl you will give it to me this night
Na soso walka I come dey go – all the time l move about
Everywhere I go, anai ti fe - anywhere l go, l eat money, also eat Woman vagina
All my guys where una dey – all my friends that are there
From here to saloon hotel – we all move from hair Saloon to Hotel
See the girls them plenty – we see so many girls
Waka waka baby (oh yeah), wuru – they all moving around us, but they all are fake
wuru baby (oh yeah)
I go tell my mama, (oh yeah) I go
tell my papa (oh yeah)
And I go tell am say (oh yeah)
You be waka waka baby (oh yeah)
You be wuru wuru baby (oh yeah) –
Corner corner baby (oh yeah)
Sango sango baby (oh yeah)
Para rara baby (oh yeah)
Oh baby sawaley
Sawa sawa sawaley (2x)
Ashawo

Kpokpotom kpomkpom, kporokotom
kpomkpom (2x)
Kpakolo kpa (3x), kpomkpom
Ojari kpokpo, ukwu nwa baby
Achukwu rege, kpom kpom
Ashawo, awusha
Awusha, ashawo
Ashawo, awusha, kpom kpom
Eh eh eh eh eh eh, kpom kpom
Oh baby Sawa lele
Sawa Sawa Sawale (2x)
Ashawo

Ala de no de, no de - there are different types of female breast
Ala ala de no de, de no de, Ala, we know they there are different types of breast
Ema na ala de no de, no de
Ala ala de no de, de no de, Ala
Ala mama - if the female breast is fine
Wera kagi ji de a ala - l will hold it with my hand
Ala mama - if the breast is fine and standing
Wero noge me jaya ala – l will use my mouth and suck it

August 09, 2011

What can you do for love? Spanish Duchess can do away with €3.5 billion

There is this incredible story of one duchess giving all her fortune to her children so as to marry the love of her life.

Her name, Oh My God ...I love it. It’s Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva. That is actually one name, can you believe it? Amazing right? I have just run out of breath.

Anyway, I was just wondering why she needs to do that. At the age of 85, why does she need a man, seriously? Even if its love? And what happens once she has given it all away? Will the two lovebirds be going hungry or she has some diamonds stashed- away somewhere in a Swiss bank?

The Madrid's Palacio de Lira born has more titles than any noble on earth, besides being a duchess seven times over, a countess 22 times and a marquesa 24 times.

She is also the head of the 539-year-old House of Alba, that apart she does not have to kneel before the Pope and she can ride on horseback into Seville Cathedral.
Am liking this duchess every minute. With all these titles, who need money?

The duchess's personal wealth is said to be something like €600 million ($A820 million) and €3.5 billion.

Anyway, she intends to give all to her children so that they could allow her to marry her love, one Alfonso Diez, 24 years her junior. Did I mention that her children have actually blocked her form marrying this guy?

The guy they feel is out to have her fortune even though the civil servant who also runs a PR business has signed a document rejecting any claim to her wealth.

To win the children, she has already given out six of her children and eight grandchildren a palace each. And I thought someone sending 100 grand to an imaginary lover was absurd.

It’s just funny that her children who are stopping her from marrying this fellow, , as she likes to mention, are all divorced, were all from her first marriage to Pedro Luis Martinez de Irujo y Artazcoz, son of the Duke of Sotomayor, who died in 1972.

Do you think she is rich? - sorry wealthy? I think so. But the not her- she insists she is not that wealthy.

April 23, 2011

Chaguo La Teeniez (CHAT) 201I...The Losers & The Winners

I know you care about awards. I don’t.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t just like the Kenyan awards- ooh and several others.

Why? Because they can’t, they haven’t and probably will never pass the test of time - if not- on the very least- credibility tests.

Occasionally though I like to read, watch, hear or Google about awards.

If I have ever written about them- which I highly doubt- is because I care about you not them.

Like I said, once in a while, I like to know about who wins what, where and on what category.

Do I follow any awards in particular? Yes I do.

And it’s just one. The Nobel Peace Prize -and a little bit- just a little bit- The CNN Journalism Awards.

The rest – be it football, BET, Grammy, Groove, CHAT, MTV/MAMA or whatever kind of award there is- I don't care.

However, for the purposes being knowledgeable or keeping abreast with current news and for purposes of meeting social obligations, i do follow.

Why you may ask again? Because all of them are totally stage-managed, money influenced, sponsor- driven and politically influenced.

I am very certain though you wish to know who won what during the just concluded CHAT Awards.

Without wasting so much time here is a summary of those who won.

Daddy Owen topped the list of winners of the 2011 Chaguo La Teeniez (CHAT) Awards held on Saturday 16th April 2011 at the Carnivore Grounds.

The gospel artiste bagged Teeniez Male Artiste as well as Teeniez Gospel Artiste. Gospel group M.O.G and Mr Seed scooped the Teeniez Gospel Song category.

Teeniez Live Performer award was deservedly awarded to Juliani. BMF, favourites to win the Teeniez New Artiste category lost out to Lady B.

Juliani and Daddy Owen were the only Gospel artistes who performed as politicians Fidel Odinga, Martha Karua, and Gideon 'Sonko' Mbuvi joined in the celebrations.

Radio presenter Joey Muthengi and Anthony 'Neo-Soul' Mwangi were the MCs of the show.

Here's the list of winners (in italics and bold).

GENERAL CATEGORY

Teeniez' Male Artist
Jua Cali
Daddy Owen
Nonini
Juliani

Teeniez' Female Artist
Amani
Avril
Size 8
Wahu

Teeniez' Group or Collaboration
M.O.G.
Marya and Avril
P. Unit
Sauti Sol

Teeniez' Brand New Artist
BMF
Lady B
QTY
Rapdamu

Teeniez' Gospel Artist
Daddy Owen
Eko Dydda
Jimmy Gait
Juliani

Teeniez' Gospel Song
Papa God Ooh – M.O.G. & Mr.Seed
Saluti- Daddy Owen & Friends
Wedding Day- M.O.G.
Tobina – Daddy Owen

Teeniez' Hottest Track
Chokoza – Avril & Marya
Get Down – Madtraxx
Kare – P Unit
Saluti – Daddy Owen & Friends

Teeniez' LIVE Performer
Jimmy Gait
Juliani
Redsan
Size 8

Teeniez' Sizzlin' Music Video
Chokoza – Avril & Marya
Genge Love – Nonini ft. Lady Bee
Get Down – Madtraxx
Kare – P Unit

Teeniez' VJ or DJ
VJ Kalonje
VJ Mantix
VJ Rayza
DJ Wesley

Teeniez' Radio Station with Most Hype Presenters
Maina & Kinga'ng'i- Classic 105
Carolyne Mutoko, Jalang'o & Larry Asego – Kiss 100
Shaffie and Kalekye - Kiss 100
Sheila Mwanyigha - Easy FM

Teeniez' Blazin' FM Station
Easy FM
Ghetto Radio
Homeboyz Radio
Kiss 100

Teeniez' Hottest Music TV Show
Crossover 101 – NTV
Kubamba TV - Citizen TV
Riddim Up - K24
Str8- Up Live – KTN

Teeniez' TV Actor
Jobu (Bernard Safari) - Beba Beba, NTV
MaDVD (Brian Ole Ndwala) – Machachari, Citizen TV
OJ (Dennis Mugo) - Tahidi High, Citizen TV
Omosh (Joseph Kinuthia) - Tahidi High, Citizen TV

Teeniez' TV Actress
Gabi (Hellena Waithera) – Tabasamu, Citizen TV
Shish (Shirleen Wangari) - Tahidi High, Citizen TV
Tanya (Sarah Hassan) - Tahidi High, Citizen TV
Tasha (Nancy Wanjiko) - Beba Beba, NTV

Teeniez' TV Drama or Soap Show
Beba Beba – NTV
Changing Times – KTN
Machachari - Citizen TV
Tahidi High - Citizen TV

Teeniez' Brand New TV Show
Changing Times - KTN
Higher Learning – NTV
Machachari – Citizen TV
Nairobi Law – Citizen TV

Teeniez' TV Comedy or Reality Show
Churchill Live – NTV
Machachari – Citizen TV
Papa Shirandula – Citizen TV
Sakata – Citizen TV

Teeniez' Role Model
Cecilia Mwanbi
David Rudisha Citizen TV
Martha Karua
McDonald Mariga

Now that you have seen who was nominated and who won, can I ask you a question?

Good, did you see any nomination for KBC program or even an actor or actress from the many programs run by the station? I guess your answer is No! And you are right.

There wasn’t . Why? I have no idea.

I find it odd that of all the programs run by KBC no teenager watches to warrant a nomination.

Can someone/the CHAT organizers sincerely say that there was no nomination at all for KBC?

Second question, where are the majority of teenagers? Is it in the urban setting? Or in the rural setting? Those are good questions but we all don’t have answers.

Summarily though, let’s assume you asked me who should have won or who deserved what they won, here is what I think.

Daddy Owen, Juliani, Churchill, Mac Donald Mariga, VJ Kalonje, M.O.G. & Mr.Seed
deserved the awards, but Avril? Tanya among the many didn’t? Where is the talent? And who the hell is Lady B?

April 17, 2011

How Safe am I from the Police? A question for the Police Commissioner Mathew Iteere

I am really lost here.

I am not sure if I should be happy or sad.

If you read my last posting, you may have realized that several things have not really been right.

Among the many things I mentioned, there is one that I deliberately avoided and that is about the recent spate of killings of the police by the police.

With your permission, allow me to give some quick facts.

In the last five months, fifteen police officers, including members of the armed forces and civilians have been killed by troubled junior officers- Circumstances? Unknown.

Last being a case where 16 bullets were fired by one Constable Mutwiri during his killing spree at Naromuro police station.

The constable shot at least seven times at his boss Inspector Orwenya as the poor lass stepped out of his bedroom.

From unconnected scraps of evidence gathered so far and some that is of common knowledge, some of the reasons said to be flaming these killings are frustrations within the force including poor pay, favouritism in promotions, depression, distress, poor living conditions, hiring of retired officers on contract, questionable transfers, and appointments without merits, gross indiscipline.

However, one of the most ridiculous argument- which again cannot be dismissed holistically as hogwash is that the police are being haunted by the killings of post -election 2008.

Now my question is how safe am I from thugs, muggers, robbers and the police themselves?

I am finding it easy to believe that I would be safer with a thug brandishing a silver semi-automatic Magnum .44 than a police carrying an AK 47. Why? Because at least I don’t expect to be protected. I am sure of the known. But with the police? I am not so sure about my protection.

It’s funny that police is killing themselves and civilians instead of protecting us. I don’t know whether there are no criminals to be arrested or shot at-at worst but something is definitely not right.

The statistics may appear dismissal but even killing one human being is considered a serious crime punishable by death in some states and life sentences in others.

Fifteen is not genocide but definitely worrying. I don’t know about you but I am.

In many occasions, I am left to wonder where the line between civilian protection and killing is drawn.

If the police cannot protect themselves from themselves yet they are trained, how are we supposed to guarantee our own security? without the training???

To say at this point that I am a worried Kenyan would be an understatement.

April 05, 2011

The Hague, here we come...finally

It has been such a long time since I blogged- and there are so many reasons to it.

Most importantly is that there has been nothing much to write home about.

Two, there has been almost nothing interesting to deserve a space in my blog page.

Nonetheless, there have been a few things here and there that I guess to an extent deserved some small time attention- and it all has nothing to do with our entertainment scene or total crazy-wild politicians.

See, since the ICC Pre- Trial II Chambers announced that some Kenyans needed to answer some charges against humanity at The Hague, so many things have occurred.

One is that there has high increase in fuel prices, steady rise on food prices, lack of water in our taps and insane hike of matatu (psv’s) fares. For hecks sake we don’t even have condoms! I wonder who is wearing them.

Usually, like you may have noticed, Notes and Quotes does not do this (shiznit) sorry...this kind of stuff- but for the sake of a crying nation and like I had mentioned – some little attention for our six brothers, some rules must be bent.

So here it is, on the seventh of April 2011, six Kenyans will be facing the dreaded Ocampo at The Hague. Actually as we speak, they have already left.

These Kenyans are Deputy Prime Minister Uhuru Kenyatta, Head of the Civil Service Ambassador Francis Muthaura, suspended Higher Education Minister William Ruto and Tinderet Member of Parliament Henry Kosgey who stepped aside to face charges of abuse of office.

Others required to make an initial appearance before the judges at The Hague are former Police Commissioner Mohammed Hussein Ali and radio presenter Joshua Arap Sang of Kass FM.

Before today and several days ago, there was very little chat about these six Kenyans, until the Pre- Trial Chambers II found them with cases to answer.

To say Kenyan politics has never witnessed such a tumultuous politics would be an understatement.

Anyway, let’s stick with The Hague story. So the six had been summoned and just immediately after that, the Kenyan government through its vice president took a very ‘honourable’ task of globe- trotting the world with his shuttle diplomacy – trying to influence other dictatorial states like Zimbabwe, Uganda among others in backing Kenya for a deferral.

He went to almost every continent, country- even in Libya where the leader is now being smoked out from his tents by the Benghazi brothers.

Unfortunately, for our VP the day he was in New York seeking to meet the UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon is the same day the ICC also gave summons for the six to appear before the court.

During this shuttle diplomacy- so much to the dismay and discomfort of many Kenyans, Kibaki was stoking another fire- by nominating Justice Alnashir Visram to be Chief Justice, Prof Githu Muigai (Attorney General), lawyer Kioko Kilukumi (Director of Public Prosecutions) and William Kirwa as Controller of Budget.

When he did that I assume he was wishing that while the VP is running wild to the wild Wild West - like some headless chicken, his nominations would prove to the world that indeed there are reforms going in Kenya and a local tribunal wouldn’t be so bad for the six Hague bound.

Too bad for the old man, he forgot about Sir Newton’s third law of motion...for very action, there is equal and opposite reaction- the prime minister claimed he was not consulted- and the temperatures rose... and rose... and rose...so high for a moment I thought...here we go again- 2008 post elections violence now pre- elections 2011 season one.

Nevertheless, whatever goes up must always come down. The temperatures finally did but only after a long tolerance of political bickering, name calling, public spitting and butt kicking.

On the 22 February 2011 the president swallowed what I would call as the most humble pie of his life- much bigger than the one he swallowed in 2008.

He withdrew his controversial appointees. (Bad things seem to happen to this man from Othaya- in February).

In the meantime, two of the Ocampo six- William Ruto and Uhuru Kenyatta who had been the president most vocal lieutenants went dead quiet.

It finally dawned on the president and the lieutenants that The Hague case is getting nearer and there is a high possibility that they will be going after all.

So what did he do?

This is where it gets interesting.

See, after the withdrawal of the controversial nominees, Kenyans sighed relief.

Finally there was going to be some political peace. It was there yes. Not just for long.

Kenyan government went ahead and hired British lawyers to represent it at The Hague.

The big question was that why did the government choose these two gentlemen over our own Githus and Kiokos, who had been touted as the best of the very best Kenyan lawyers?

As it is, Sir Geoffrey Nice, QC and Rodney Dixon, QC will be representing us come 7th April, 2011.

Sometimes not even your wife or husband is enough. You will need some foreign activity at home. Talk of desperate times.

Finally, did you hear our special programs minister Esther Murugi urging women to strip if Uhuru Kenyatta is detained at The Hague? Can’t wait. On a second thought, some of us are already naked madam minister! What should we do?